JMJ. Today is Sunday. I fulfilled my Sunday duty and assisted at Mass. I did so, not because I had to but because I wanted to do so. At the culmination, I made my altar call. (Yes, Catholics have true altar calls, true because we still have altars in our churches.) I approached the altar following the consecration of the bread and wine. I bowed before my glorified Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and answered, "Amen" in response to the priest's statement, "The Body of Christ."
But this Lent has not been the time of rejoicing that I had looked forward to. I have let myself become distracted, by physicians with whom I work who are well-nigh unlovable (to me), by financial concerns that are trying our meagre pocket-book, and care for my dear wife who is struggling with health problems beyond my power to assuage. My shame is that the Lord whom I received this morning does not shine through me. My actions do not proclaim my catholicity. I feel like I am letting Him down when He needs me the most.
I feel like calling out (like He did,) "Father, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" But then I realise that I am His tabernacle and that He carries me when the going is hardest. And I have weeks to go before I am honoured to shoulder a small part of His cross as St. Simon of Cyrene did so many centuries ago. I am nothing only when I have forsaken Him. And that I WILL NOT allow myself to do! Gloria Deo.
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